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Saturday, January 25, 2014

DDiary: A Gud DD Tool!

A helpful tool we use in DD is a DDiary.  We do it a little differently than having a journal or diary written on paper.  We use email.  GudOne and I both have private emails separate from our "everyday" emails.  We use these specifically for DD and private conversations we have.  

The DDiary has many uses:
1. It keeps your HoH informed
It is basically a journal for me to keep Gud apprised of what I have accomplished throughout the day and any situations that might have gone on during the day.  He likes to have time to think about situations with me or with the children before he comes home and has to deal with it right away.  This way, he can think things through and have time to "calm down" if it is something that needs to be dealt with.  

2. Keeps focus on chores that need to be done
I send a diary entry, usually mid-morning, as I get chores accomplished.  This helps me stay focused to get things done and helps hold me accountable.  I sometimes also include other information, like taking my meds, finishing errands, other little things he may ask me to do, like submission exercises, etc.

3. It is a means of encouragement
When I send my entry, it helps me see how much I have accomplished.  Gud also likes to praise me for doing such a gud job!!  

4.  It gives us an opportunity to flirt and be intimate
We also the diary for those little flirty moments.  With a preteen and two teens in the house, it is hard to have those private conversations.  This is a way we can do that.  It is very exciting to have this private life and way of teasing through the day.  

5.  A way to communicate thoughts and opinions
Gud often sends me articles or blogs about DD and will ask me what I think about it.  It is a way for me to express my thoughts without reservation.  

For the most part, the diary is good for us.  The only drawback is when I get really busy with the daily activities and do not have enough time to write.  It can also make me a little more nervous if it has been a stressful day, or if I have had to tell him about something I have done that may be deemed, by him, as punishable.  Usually, I agree with those instances, but at times, if you have read my previous blogs, you can see where I justify why I may not deserve the punishment or I will stress myself over not knowing the outcome of a situation.

Over all, I think the DDiary is a good tool to have in any DD relationship.

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Protected and Cherished

Do you feel protected by your HoH?  Since being in this relationship, I have felt more cherished, loved and protected, than I have ever felt in my life.  That was reaffirmed yesterday, more than ever.  My father has been sick, and in the midst of all of this, I found out we were being taken advantage of, by my brother.

My brother has a habit of being quite violent with his words and with his actions, and I have often been the recipient of his tirade.  In my past marriages, my husbands would not really deal with my brother when he was angry with me.  I have been cursed, yelled at, threatened, and even had a jar of pickles thrown on me, all with whichever husband I happened to be married to at the time, sitting right next to me, with never a word spoken in my defense.  Every time, the anger has been over my calling him on his horrible behavior.  As long as my brother has been born, he has found ways to let me know that he hates me.... many times by just saying, "I hate you, I wish you weren't alive."  I love my brother, no matter how he feels about me or how poor his behavior.  He has always taken advantage of that love and of my generosity.  He refuses to work and as a direct quote from him, "because nobody is going to tell me what to do!"  He is an alcoholic, he is abusive, he will steal, he cheats, and "has a heart of gold" for anyone other than his family!

When I took action to assure he could no longer take advantage of this particular situation, let's just say, he was ready to fight, literally, and kept calling to talk to me.  My wonderful, amazing husband, that GudOne, would not allow it.  He protected me from the outrage, from the "cussing," and really tried hard to keep me from stressing.  I would like to say that it is just part of a good marriage, but I think it goes deeper than that.  This is a man who really leads his family, a man who is in control, and a man who does everything in his power to protect what is his.  I AM HIS!  I love that!  I have never known what it was to feel protected by a man.  I have never known love this deep.  I have never felt that I was precious to my husband, until I became Gud's wife.

Is that because of the DD?  Is it because he is a wonderful, godly husband and leader?  Is it because I am his?  I think, perhaps, it is a little of all of these, but most of all, I think it is because I belong to the GudOne, and I am thanking God for making him the man he is!