A helpful tool we use in DD is a DDiary. We do it a little differently than having a journal or diary written on paper. We use email. GudOne and I both have private emails separate from our "everyday" emails. We use these specifically for DD and private conversations we have.
The DDiary has many uses:
1. It keeps your HoH informed
It is basically a journal for me to keep Gud apprised of what I have accomplished throughout the day and any situations that might have gone on during the day. He likes to have time to think about situations with me or with the children before he comes home and has to deal with it right away. This way, he can think things through and have time to "calm down" if it is something that needs to be dealt with.
2. Keeps focus on chores that need to be done
I send a diary entry, usually mid-morning, as I get chores accomplished. This helps me stay focused to get things done and helps hold me accountable. I sometimes also include other information, like taking my meds, finishing errands, other little things he may ask me to do, like submission exercises, etc.
3. It is a means of encouragement
When I send my entry, it helps me see how much I have accomplished. Gud also likes to praise me for doing such a gud job!!
4. It gives us an opportunity to flirt and be intimate
We also the diary for those little flirty moments. With a preteen and two teens in the house, it is hard to have those private conversations. This is a way we can do that. It is very exciting to have this private life and way of teasing through the day.
5. A way to communicate thoughts and opinions
Gud often sends me articles or blogs about DD and will ask me what I think about it. It is a way for me to express my thoughts without reservation.
For the most part, the diary is good for us. The only drawback is when I get really busy with the daily activities and do not have enough time to write. It can also make me a little more nervous if it has been a stressful day, or if I have had to tell him about something I have done that may be deemed, by him, as punishable. Usually, I agree with those instances, but at times, if you have read my previous blogs, you can see where I justify why I may not deserve the punishment or I will stress myself over not knowing the outcome of a situation.
Over all, I think the DDiary is a good tool to have in any DD relationship.