This post is about my first spanking in ttwd. After this, Gud gave me an assignment. I was to send him a letter about my thoughts, feelings, emotions during the experience. The letter to him ended up being four emailed pages and well, more detail that I think anyone would want to know. (It just basically confirms the "crazy" inside my head. So, I have condensed it to an overall idea of my feelings before he came to visit the first time, what happened to get me that spanking (that I thought I would never deserve,) and my thought process and emotions through the whole thing.
In writing about this I was overcome with emotion and couldn't work out in my mind, or in my heart, why.