During moments that I could gain my composure enough to listen and talk, he explained to me that he could not see continuing to do something that caused stress in our lives. He also pointed out that, from his perspective, I am trying to top from the bottom. I only want spankings when I want them and don't want them if I don't agree with them. It may matter to the severity of the punishment, or it may not matter at all. The point is, it is his decision to make, not mine.
To get things back to a balanced place, this morning, Gud was very helpful and HoHy to point this out and solidify it in a way any gud TiH can understand. I was given a good, firm spanking, not severe, but firm. I was reminded that I belong to him, that he is the one in control, that he is the one who makes the decisions about what is punishable and what is not.
My opinion is valued and will be heard, I will accept his decision and will be thankful for it. Today, I am more thankful for it than I was yesterday. Funny thing, how almost losing something so precious can give you a new perspective and appreciation!